Taking a step back is needed sometimes. In every facet. To reflect, to assess and to move on and move forward. So for most of the summer that’s what i’ve been doing. Attending therapy, working on the therapy techniques and slowly regaining control of myself.
I thought I was one of those people who knew what they wanted, where life was going… always so sure. Turns out…. none of that is true.
Truth is I don’t, what I do know is i’m an expressive personality. For a long time i’ve always found release & pleasure in writing, it started with music, poetry. Books & passages. It was always my escape from a dysfunctional family, school & everything else.
But for a while I lost it because I began chasing other things… fast money. Chasing the image of presenting my life to be perfect and shamefully I got lost in the sauce, I lost myself.
I had to take a step back and figure out what mattered to me….
My health and wellbeing…. physically & mentally. Love, happiness & putting smiles on my family’s faces. I know who I am but more importantly I know now who I want to be. Nothing and nobody is stopping that.
I’ve let go of all the negative energy i’ve been harbouring all the petty grudges and silly beef, none of that matters. Because it’s not helping me progress, making me happy or benefitting me in any way.
I’m growing and changing, change is good and you shouldn’t stop it but embrace it instead.
With all that being said the fear of what if I can’t live behind that forever…. I mean that in the context of what if no one reads my stuff or what if people laugh or make fun of it/me but i’m over that now.
I’ll be using my blog a lot more I don’t want to throw labels, and claim my blog to be this or that its just going to be my space to express.
Here’s to a fresh start.